trying to figure it all out....

trying to figure it all out....
Ha ha, a simple task, right?

Deep within my soul is an akward unsettledness- I don't know how to truly be me. In the cry of my heart and soul there is a desperation to be who God wants me to be- who He created me to be. But what, exactly, is that? And how do I become it? Shall I listen to my heart? Well, I've made so many poor decisions following that little thing, let's not even go there. I'm kind of left without a guide unless I seek God. In God alone can I find the purpose for my life- the person that is me.

Because let's face it, life is worth living. Really living. Aren't we all a little over being bombarded with what life is "suppposed" to be and sorely disappointed when we taste it's bitterness? I don't want to be known as a girl that lived vicariously through the fabricated and tattered stories of TV sitcoms and movie characters! I settle for the mind-numbing resonance of the world- this and that, here and there, stressful work, stressful home, stressful relationships.... busyness, stress, running, dashing and barely breathing. Holding my breath for... well, I guess that's it- I don't know what.

"THERE'S MORE TO THIS!" my soul cries out, but how do I find it??

I pursue the Lord and draw near. He is the One who gave me the emotions I have and the dreams that seem ridiculous. He is the One who gave me tears and laughter; an insatiable love for cookies and ice cream and a sometimes uncomfortable knack for asking questions that cut to the heart. These qualities are precise, each one an exact piece that fits together to make the person, this girl, He desired to make and love... whoever she really is. He knows the great things He made me for... I need to find the path, travel the road and come to the exquisite places in His plan to feel fulfilled. I wonder if anything else will ever do...



I'm also reading- because the answer is not on TV or in movies. It's in the thoughts and souls of others who have pursued it. It's in daring conversations with those who have journeyed there and are clearing a path.


Redeeming Love, Wild at Heart, The Sacred Romance, Captivating, Unveiled, The Priest.... titles of books that inspire.

Do you have a book that inspires? Have you journeyed down the path a while?

Share a little, will you?