I don't have much to say....
sorry.
any questions?
I'd love to have a conversation, just not with myself. :D
Lemme know!
heart,
b
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
it's got me thinkin'....... that's for sure!
I really like the One Year Bible I got Jeff (Ok, *myself*) for Christmas 2, wait- maybe 3?, years ago. It's got a little bit o' old, little bit o' new... some wonderful excerpts from psalms and some daily wisdom- just about everything I need in my day! How 'bout you?
Today's was really good. A lot o' thinking going on today from it.
Like:
1. Isn't worship *awesome*?!!? First we offer up our sacrifice (our time, ourselves, our heart, our thoughts...), we worship Him and then we GO CELEBRATE. That's a pretty stinking cool process! (Deut. 26:5-11)
2. Should Jeff and I give a special tithe every three years to the men and women of God who serve us, foreigners, orphans and widows in our town so they have enough to eat? I mean, it's both practical and spiritual. I guess it's up to God- whichever way He leads. (Deut. 26:12)
3. Building an altar of uncut rocks seems to be of important significance. Cut rocks are polished and pretty (not the best word picture, but think of tombstones- some are ornate and intricate; beautiful even). But the Lord would rather the place of sacrifice be made of uncut stones. Kind of like our hearts, right? I mean, when I first came to the Lord my heart was a mess- jagged, sharp, unpolished. I laid my life down and He's been smoothing and shaping it ever since. Hmmmm. Uncut stones. (Deut. 27:5-9)
4. Once the Israelites entered the promised land the Levites (priests) pronounced curses on the people if they performed certain things (and everyone shouted "AMEN!"). 4/12 were sexual perversions. Yikes. (Deut. 27:14-26)
5. I am not shamelessly persistent. (Luke 11:5-8)
The Scripture I am going to memorize and quote over myself is the following:
"You have declared today that the LORD is your God. And you have promised to walk in His ways, and to obey His decrees, commands, and regulations, and to do everything He tells you. THE LORD HAS DECLARED TODAY THAT YOU ARE HIS PEOPLE, HIS OWN SPECIAL TREASURE, JUST AS HE PROMISED and that you must obey all His commands" Deut. 26:17,18
--- I am His people, His special treasure, JUST AS HE PROMISED.
I like God's promises. He doesn't break them.
That's all, folks.
Oh, Bella turns 4 next Saturday.
Wow.
LOVES
Today's was really good. A lot o' thinking going on today from it.
Like:
1. Isn't worship *awesome*?!!? First we offer up our sacrifice (our time, ourselves, our heart, our thoughts...), we worship Him and then we GO CELEBRATE. That's a pretty stinking cool process! (Deut. 26:5-11)
2. Should Jeff and I give a special tithe every three years to the men and women of God who serve us, foreigners, orphans and widows in our town so they have enough to eat? I mean, it's both practical and spiritual. I guess it's up to God- whichever way He leads. (Deut. 26:12)
3. Building an altar of uncut rocks seems to be of important significance. Cut rocks are polished and pretty (not the best word picture, but think of tombstones- some are ornate and intricate; beautiful even). But the Lord would rather the place of sacrifice be made of uncut stones. Kind of like our hearts, right? I mean, when I first came to the Lord my heart was a mess- jagged, sharp, unpolished. I laid my life down and He's been smoothing and shaping it ever since. Hmmmm. Uncut stones. (Deut. 27:5-9)
4. Once the Israelites entered the promised land the Levites (priests) pronounced curses on the people if they performed certain things (and everyone shouted "AMEN!"). 4/12 were sexual perversions. Yikes. (Deut. 27:14-26)
5. I am not shamelessly persistent. (Luke 11:5-8)
The Scripture I am going to memorize and quote over myself is the following:
"You have declared today that the LORD is your God. And you have promised to walk in His ways, and to obey His decrees, commands, and regulations, and to do everything He tells you. THE LORD HAS DECLARED TODAY THAT YOU ARE HIS PEOPLE, HIS OWN SPECIAL TREASURE, JUST AS HE PROMISED and that you must obey all His commands" Deut. 26:17,18
--- I am His people, His special treasure, JUST AS HE PROMISED.
I like God's promises. He doesn't break them.
That's all, folks.
Oh, Bella turns 4 next Saturday.
Wow.
LOVES
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
vulnerability
It crept in quietly, although I knew it's presence before I opened the door to it- isolation. I get that way sometimes- solitude seems like so much more of a comfort than talking "it" out. "It" being almost anything these days. It amazes me, in quite an uncomfortable way, how much harder it is to run than to talk. Because vulnerability won over tonight and my heart was out on the butcher's block. And despite the lack of confirmation of what I was saying, or it's importance to me, the weight was lifted. The weight of isolation that would have otherwise pulled me over into an abyss with little comfort and a whole lot of darkness.
I still think I need time alone, but more to be with Christ, not be by myself. It makes me laugh, all these people who think the answer to our lives lies within us... what's waiting there is a huge pile of stinky disappointment. I know, I've listened to it and tried to live by it. The elation is temporary and the joy fleeting. And quickly.
But letting someone in seems to bring more clarity and life.
So, tonight I let Jesus in and welcome vulnerability.
And I will sigh with contentment and rest sweetly tonight.
Thank you, Jesus.
I still think I need time alone, but more to be with Christ, not be by myself. It makes me laugh, all these people who think the answer to our lives lies within us... what's waiting there is a huge pile of stinky disappointment. I know, I've listened to it and tried to live by it. The elation is temporary and the joy fleeting. And quickly.
But letting someone in seems to bring more clarity and life.
So, tonight I let Jesus in and welcome vulnerability.
And I will sigh with contentment and rest sweetly tonight.
Thank you, Jesus.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Easter.....
Today we celebrated Easter at church and then moved on to the beach. It was wonderful- a little windy (and therefore chilly) but otherwise beautiful! Waves crashing, Bella and her friends chasing each other and digging in the sand, conversation with great friends and... happiness.
I loved it.
Today Jeff and I also went forward to celebrate that we are officially Seacoast Vineyard Church members. That was really exciting! God has showed us a lot on this journey. I know it has probably seemed that we were holding dear to old ways of thinking/living, but I think God has led us to embrace the very affectionate heart of Tim Holt and the vision to Live It (Christianity//God's love//our relationship with Jesus//...) and Give It! It's been fun to get to know new people here, start building a family here with others. Difficult at times, but fun! I still desperately need a hug from a few brothers and sisters back in IL, though. Anyone up for a little trip?
And Spring is in the air. What's better than that?
Ok, actually *being* Spring!!! Ha ha
Anyway, for now I love life and I am trying to embrace all that God has for me.
I hope you do the same!
LOVE
b
I loved it.
Today Jeff and I also went forward to celebrate that we are officially Seacoast Vineyard Church members. That was really exciting! God has showed us a lot on this journey. I know it has probably seemed that we were holding dear to old ways of thinking/living, but I think God has led us to embrace the very affectionate heart of Tim Holt and the vision to Live It (Christianity//God's love//our relationship with Jesus//...) and Give It! It's been fun to get to know new people here, start building a family here with others. Difficult at times, but fun! I still desperately need a hug from a few brothers and sisters back in IL, though. Anyone up for a little trip?
And Spring is in the air. What's better than that?
Ok, actually *being* Spring!!! Ha ha
Anyway, for now I love life and I am trying to embrace all that God has for me.
I hope you do the same!
LOVE
b
Thursday, March 20, 2008
love
I love to love, don't you? To wrap your heart around someone and let it's beat set the pace for the adventure in discovering who that person is.
It's an amazing wonder we love at all, except God first loved us.
I marvel at the million-in-one ways we can show love, Christ being the greatest example.
So, for me, there is nothing greater than worship. Singing, laughing, crying and trembling. Sometimes with the crowds, sometimes sitting in the bumper to bumper. Because, for me, it can happen anywhere, anytime. God can stop my heart from beating with a simple whisper, a tender touch and I am gone. His presence is the sweetest perfume to me and yet I smell Him not. It's His unforgettable touch, His breathtaking power, His tenderness that captures me.
Thank God for the opportunity to worship. To stand in awe, to proclaim with great shouts, to cheer Him on.... He is marvelous. Truly and utterly.
It's an amazing wonder we love at all, except God first loved us.
I marvel at the million-in-one ways we can show love, Christ being the greatest example.
So, for me, there is nothing greater than worship. Singing, laughing, crying and trembling. Sometimes with the crowds, sometimes sitting in the bumper to bumper. Because, for me, it can happen anywhere, anytime. God can stop my heart from beating with a simple whisper, a tender touch and I am gone. His presence is the sweetest perfume to me and yet I smell Him not. It's His unforgettable touch, His breathtaking power, His tenderness that captures me.
Thank God for the opportunity to worship. To stand in awe, to proclaim with great shouts, to cheer Him on.... He is marvelous. Truly and utterly.
Monday, March 17, 2008
King of the 'Jerks'
Jeff and I just attended the 2nd class of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. It is incredible information and I really encourage anyone who is blessed to go, to go! It's so... major!
But one part of it today, like most financial seminars, makes a point of distinguishing between the "free spirit" spenders and the "nerds"- budget lovers who double check their spreadsheets before giving. And although neither Jeff nor I fit solely in one category or another, as most don't, we were both actually trying to lay claim to the nerd. Right there during the DVD seminar!! I'm like, yeah- controlling, organized, that's me! And Jeff was.... well, kind of just attached to the Nerd title. Which is why I reached over and drew a pair of lips on his hand. It was my peace offering.
;) Now, he truly is nerdy in many ways! He's no Jake Ryan, but I think for the most part he is more loose with money than I am. He puts up a very convincing front, but when pushed (and I mean pushed as in make a pouty face) and he caves. It's a noble attempt, but his nerd facade doesn't last long.
And I love him for it.
But, like I said, he's nerdy in a thousand other ways, which I humbly lay down. He can have those things, and I lay claim to free spirited in all the others.
:D
LOVE,
b
(Note: the title and use of randomly placed 80's phrases is a tribute to Sixteen Candles which I watched this weekend. Thank God for 80's movies!!!)
But one part of it today, like most financial seminars, makes a point of distinguishing between the "free spirit" spenders and the "nerds"- budget lovers who double check their spreadsheets before giving. And although neither Jeff nor I fit solely in one category or another, as most don't, we were both actually trying to lay claim to the nerd. Right there during the DVD seminar!! I'm like, yeah- controlling, organized, that's me! And Jeff was.... well, kind of just attached to the Nerd title. Which is why I reached over and drew a pair of lips on his hand. It was my peace offering.
;) Now, he truly is nerdy in many ways! He's no Jake Ryan, but I think for the most part he is more loose with money than I am. He puts up a very convincing front, but when pushed (and I mean pushed as in make a pouty face) and he caves. It's a noble attempt, but his nerd facade doesn't last long.
And I love him for it.
But, like I said, he's nerdy in a thousand other ways, which I humbly lay down. He can have those things, and I lay claim to free spirited in all the others.
:D
LOVE,
b
(Note: the title and use of randomly placed 80's phrases is a tribute to Sixteen Candles which I watched this weekend. Thank God for 80's movies!!!)
Monday, March 10, 2008
It was wonderful!
thank you to all that prayed for me about singing with the worship team this past weekend. it was very fun, fulfilling and actually worshipful. (thank you, Jesus)
we sang a song called Brighter Day- which i totally *love*! it has a little gospel choir feel to it, which explains why i love it so. i sure miss those good ol' gospel choir days- traveling to Milwaukee, visiting some ol' soulful black churches and swaying to the preacher's preachin'- "Come on!" "Preach it!" "Yes, sir!"
good times!
i just told jeff i feel the old junkie is back- i'm addicted to Lost. i stayed up to an ungodly hour last night (although i actually hear it is an hour God wakes some to pray- although that was *CLEARLY* NOT what i was doing last night)! i have started with the pilot and i can't get over how fresh and simple it was at the start. jack & kate... (sigh). charlie and locke... what a pair! hurley... 'nuff said!
i'm a little sad that i won't be singing with the team this weekend (i have baby duty- YEA!) but it's probably for the best. i'm feeling like there's a lot on my plate right now, and uncharacteristically, i don't seem to have the energy or the passion to get it all done. (must be the junkie drawing all my energy... when can i get my next Lost fix????) ;)
it's time to not sweat the little stuff.
or kick my butt in gear.
one or the other.
love you!
we sang a song called Brighter Day- which i totally *love*! it has a little gospel choir feel to it, which explains why i love it so. i sure miss those good ol' gospel choir days- traveling to Milwaukee, visiting some ol' soulful black churches and swaying to the preacher's preachin'- "Come on!" "Preach it!" "Yes, sir!"
good times!
i just told jeff i feel the old junkie is back- i'm addicted to Lost. i stayed up to an ungodly hour last night (although i actually hear it is an hour God wakes some to pray- although that was *CLEARLY* NOT what i was doing last night)! i have started with the pilot and i can't get over how fresh and simple it was at the start. jack & kate... (sigh). charlie and locke... what a pair! hurley... 'nuff said!
i'm a little sad that i won't be singing with the team this weekend (i have baby duty- YEA!) but it's probably for the best. i'm feeling like there's a lot on my plate right now, and uncharacteristically, i don't seem to have the energy or the passion to get it all done. (must be the junkie drawing all my energy... when can i get my next Lost fix????) ;)
it's time to not sweat the little stuff.
or kick my butt in gear.
one or the other.
love you!
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