and looking for female-led worship music.
yes, these two things go together! let me lay it out for you:
i love jesus. he is so amazing and there is nothing i enjoy more than singing my heart out to him! i love singing, swaying and clapping my hands, raising my arms and tapping my feet to a tune that expresses my heart for him.
i have been desiring to be "mentored" concerning worship- worship leading, song writing- everything. and tonight after practicing with the worship team for 4 months, i get my chance- sing lead while the band backs. yea! i am so excited! "what song?" oh, we only sing male-led songs... ugh. "what song do you feel more comfortable singing", ugh, i don't know... whatever you pick out. "sing the melody"- wait! i only ever sing harmony... let me listen to you sing it first, then i'll sing. fear, worry, insecurity, nervousness, general lameness. what is wrong with me?? how can i ask and seek with one voice and choke up the next?
so, now i want to collect some female-led worship music that i can listen to and practice. i want to sit in God's presence and ask him to take away this nervousness and replace it with humility and grace (mostly to sing well). and i want to practice until i can do it well.
and i want to pursue the passion of inviting God into our midst, drawing him with love songs, and i want to do it well. to please him and to draw others in.
and i am going to need a LOT of help.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
a quiet return
blah blah blah busy blah blah blah no Internet blah blah blah
Phew! I am glad we got that excuse portion of this return blog out of the way. Kind of dreaded it anyway.
On to new things: 1st, did you see that Jeff stole my blog layout!!? I guess that's his subtle way of seeing if I still read his blog, which granted I don't much, but really.. it was my layout first!
2nd Bella has been going to school in a homeschooling co-op on Mondays. She currently attends Tumbling and the Good News Club. Soooooooooooooo cute! It is the best feeling bringing her there. I feel like a real mom. In case Jeff hasn't bragged on her (which I don't know because I don't read his blog ;-), Bella has been learning sign language and is really good at it! I am so impressed! She can sign many animals now, please, thank you, help, mommy, daddy... she's INCREDIBLE!
3rdly- for those of you who knew my mom wasn't well, the results are in and she has MS. She is injecting herself every other day with a protein that is supposed to stop the progression and lessen the frequency of flare ups. She was losing her hair, but I cut it into a cute little bob and she's looking adorable. She is doing well for the most part, but is trying to recover financially. Please pray for a full-time job with benefits.
4th- I still enjoy working at the natural food store. It is really a lot of fun and I'm learning a lot. I have cut out processed sugar from my diet and wheat/gluten. I have also been going to the gym, albeit only 2 times a week, but I'm getting there. I have dropped ~10 pounds and feeling much better for it. I feel a little of my old self rising up (the drill sergeant) and it's nice to have her back.
5- my dad and sister are moving to Arizona. I already miss them a ton, so please agree with me that God will be gracious and merciful and let me see them soon. Gosh, I love them!
6- I have started a new job with my friend Jason Killam. He is a real estate agent and I am learning a *bunch* from him. He is really one of the most benevolent and kind-hearted people. Thank God for him and the chance to make some 'extra' money from home. (I say 'extra' because it is much needed!!)
7-More? I don't know if there is right now. But as soon as I think of something, I promise to try and post it.
8- I am watching Lost- and joining a fairly large group of Americans that do (some GREAT friends included) and I may ask questions from time to time, so help a sista out when she can't figure out what the heck is going on!! On that note who died at the end of the last season, anyway? Who was in the coffin???
I love all of you that still check this out from time to time. Thank you.
God be with you!
MUAH!
b
Phew! I am glad we got that excuse portion of this return blog out of the way. Kind of dreaded it anyway.
On to new things: 1st, did you see that Jeff stole my blog layout!!? I guess that's his subtle way of seeing if I still read his blog, which granted I don't much, but really.. it was my layout first!
2nd Bella has been going to school in a homeschooling co-op on Mondays. She currently attends Tumbling and the Good News Club. Soooooooooooooo cute! It is the best feeling bringing her there. I feel like a real mom. In case Jeff hasn't bragged on her (which I don't know because I don't read his blog ;-), Bella has been learning sign language and is really good at it! I am so impressed! She can sign many animals now, please, thank you, help, mommy, daddy... she's INCREDIBLE!
3rdly- for those of you who knew my mom wasn't well, the results are in and she has MS. She is injecting herself every other day with a protein that is supposed to stop the progression and lessen the frequency of flare ups. She was losing her hair, but I cut it into a cute little bob and she's looking adorable. She is doing well for the most part, but is trying to recover financially. Please pray for a full-time job with benefits.
4th- I still enjoy working at the natural food store. It is really a lot of fun and I'm learning a lot. I have cut out processed sugar from my diet and wheat/gluten. I have also been going to the gym, albeit only 2 times a week, but I'm getting there. I have dropped ~10 pounds and feeling much better for it. I feel a little of my old self rising up (the drill sergeant) and it's nice to have her back.
5- my dad and sister are moving to Arizona. I already miss them a ton, so please agree with me that God will be gracious and merciful and let me see them soon. Gosh, I love them!
6- I have started a new job with my friend Jason Killam. He is a real estate agent and I am learning a *bunch* from him. He is really one of the most benevolent and kind-hearted people. Thank God for him and the chance to make some 'extra' money from home. (I say 'extra' because it is much needed!!)
7-More? I don't know if there is right now. But as soon as I think of something, I promise to try and post it.
8- I am watching Lost- and joining a fairly large group of Americans that do (some GREAT friends included) and I may ask questions from time to time, so help a sista out when she can't figure out what the heck is going on!! On that note who died at the end of the last season, anyway? Who was in the coffin???
I love all of you that still check this out from time to time. Thank you.
God be with you!
MUAH!
b
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Good for the soul....
and it's not southern cookin'!
It's friends.
Friends who warm your heart with a hello and a hug. It's looking into the eyes of someone who loves you and laughs at your silliness. Someone who says, "Hey, I thought of you the other day..." A quick text that says Hey, call me (*smiles*). Friends. Friends are amazing and I can personally say I love my friends. I was so excited to go home to see and hug everyone I have missed since moving to South Carolina. It was good for my soul to sit and chat with them... something not afforded to us because of the business of life. Man- I really love and miss you guys! Thank you for giving us some time during a fast paced season.
But something occurred to me last night as we sat preparing for the lesson in the nursery today- I was so EXCITED about going back to church and seeing all the new friends we have... I realized how much I missed them. It's scary and intimidating getting to know new people; finding your place in a new family. But y'all are making it real easy. You are trustworthy, fun, faithful and loving. I see God working through you and I can see His heart within you. You shine brightly and I love you for it! I am SO grateful God is knitting us together!
Y'all are good for my soul!
:)
It's friends.
Friends who warm your heart with a hello and a hug. It's looking into the eyes of someone who loves you and laughs at your silliness. Someone who says, "Hey, I thought of you the other day..." A quick text that says Hey, call me (*smiles*). Friends. Friends are amazing and I can personally say I love my friends. I was so excited to go home to see and hug everyone I have missed since moving to South Carolina. It was good for my soul to sit and chat with them... something not afforded to us because of the business of life. Man- I really love and miss you guys! Thank you for giving us some time during a fast paced season.
But something occurred to me last night as we sat preparing for the lesson in the nursery today- I was so EXCITED about going back to church and seeing all the new friends we have... I realized how much I missed them. It's scary and intimidating getting to know new people; finding your place in a new family. But y'all are making it real easy. You are trustworthy, fun, faithful and loving. I see God working through you and I can see His heart within you. You shine brightly and I love you for it! I am SO grateful God is knitting us together!
Y'all are good for my soul!
:)
Friday, December 14, 2007
Needing YOU
I am living in the dissonance of having left home and trying to make a new one... where life isn't everything you thought it would be, and it isn't what it used to be, either. Not that it is a new feeling for a person... it's just the update. I enjoy living in a sunny warm climate, although I think regular views of the endless ocean are needed. It seems to calm the soul in ways few other things do... like deep, long challenging conversations with friends, both old and new. I want to touch the eternal and since it resides in each of us, I think we need to 'tap the collective' :) Who's with me?????
I can't put into the words the excitement I feel in coming home for Christmas- hugging my sister, walking into my home (CITW all the way, baby!), and hugging everyone I have missed these past months (while trying not to cry).
I hope it snows really hard and I can't come home for a couple weeks! Whatcha think?
I can't put into the words the excitement I feel in coming home for Christmas- hugging my sister, walking into my home (CITW all the way, baby!), and hugging everyone I have missed these past months (while trying not to cry).
I hope it snows really hard and I can't come home for a couple weeks! Whatcha think?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Lights dancing on the crashing waves
I wrote this Nov. 14th in my journal:
Tonight I desire the black of night and the sea to surround me.
I remember the beauty of lights dancing on the crashing waves...
the intimacy and the company of a million stars by my side.
Reaching out to touch You.
Speaking softly in the wind.
Longing to know You, my God.
The waves softly call, the wind kisses my skin...
tossing my hair.
Yet in the midst of loneliness is a yearning fulfilled...
a heart that is full of You.
It's my heart's cry: to find something familiar again.
A chair, a road, a laugh, a smile.
Right now it is has to be Him because I am in a land far from where I know anything...
Tonight I desire the black of night and the sea to surround me.
I remember the beauty of lights dancing on the crashing waves...
the intimacy and the company of a million stars by my side.
Reaching out to touch You.
Speaking softly in the wind.
Longing to know You, my God.
The waves softly call, the wind kisses my skin...
tossing my hair.
Yet in the midst of loneliness is a yearning fulfilled...
a heart that is full of You.
It's my heart's cry: to find something familiar again.
A chair, a road, a laugh, a smile.
Right now it is has to be Him because I am in a land far from where I know anything...
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Beautiful
An amazing tribute to a loving God and the people He places in our lives.
'You are so Good', Merchant Band
You searched me out
You know all my days
You see all my doubts
You know all my ways
Where can I go?
Where can I run?
You've seen it all before
and You paid for me with love
You are so good
You never leave when I think You should
You are so kind
With all You see, You still give me life
You see my heart
Each movement it makes
From the weakest cry
to the highest of praise
And when I call
You lift me up
You've seen it all before
and You paid for me with love
You are so good
You never leave when I think You should
You are so kind
With all You see You still give me life
You still give me life
I'll let You see me
I'll let You love me
I'll let You hold me until You're done
I'll let You break me
I'll let You fix me
I'll let You shape me until we're one
You are so good
You never leave when I think You should
You are so kind
With all You see, You still give me life....
I was driving home today from worship practice incredibly moved... I had a deep appreciation for the amazing relationships God has given me with beautiful people I love (who never left when I thought they should) and at the same time a gnawing ache for new love relationships with people all around me...
I thank God for love. I said it tonight at practice- I want to be loved and I want to love.
'You are so Good', Merchant Band
You searched me out
You know all my days
You see all my doubts
You know all my ways
Where can I go?
Where can I run?
You've seen it all before
and You paid for me with love
You are so good
You never leave when I think You should
You are so kind
With all You see, You still give me life
You see my heart
Each movement it makes
From the weakest cry
to the highest of praise
And when I call
You lift me up
You've seen it all before
and You paid for me with love
You are so good
You never leave when I think You should
You are so kind
With all You see You still give me life
You still give me life
I'll let You see me
I'll let You love me
I'll let You hold me until You're done
I'll let You break me
I'll let You fix me
I'll let You shape me until we're one
You are so good
You never leave when I think You should
You are so kind
With all You see, You still give me life....
I was driving home today from worship practice incredibly moved... I had a deep appreciation for the amazing relationships God has given me with beautiful people I love (who never left when I thought they should) and at the same time a gnawing ache for new love relationships with people all around me...
I thank God for love. I said it tonight at practice- I want to be loved and I want to love.
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